Professional Practice: Revised Script
Following my meeting with the guildhall and their viewing of my rough cut they asked me to make a few amendments to my script voice over.
They felt some parts such as the part where i mention the pump was "poorly maintained" and kept it "poor storage conditions" had unintended negative implications towards the museum.
They also didn't like the phrase "at their peak" since it implied that the pump lost its effectiveness over time.
As such I went back over my script and changed some of the language used to fit the guildhall's wishes. I fully understood their perspective on this and was happy to make these amendments.
I also looked at some of the language I used in my script. Since according to the guildhall my primary audience will be primary school children, and my secondary audience will be other museum visitors (possibly teachers or history experts/enthusiasts). As such I need to keep my language universal.
I made sure to read over my script to make sure it was easy to understand without over simplifying things.
Bellow is the revised version of my script.
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