Script Drafts:

Bellow are links to the diferent drafts of my scripts, bellow each one is a breif description of the feedback and/or changes that were madde to each one.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B861OVEHxQzgVVBzSEx0cUlETkE/view?usp=sharing

Above is the first draft of my script.
The feedback I reieved was that it was a great set up, but had very little action in it.
This fitted some drama conventions but had no twist.
This script didn't give much detail about characters back story's and left some questions un answered.
The location also felt like it didnt fit, at least not for the while thing, another character or location should be included to thicken the plot.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B861OVEHxQzgdHRpR3dwYkMtcHc/view?usp=sharing

Above is the second draft of my script.
In this i actioned some of the changes mentioned above.
Firstly i changed the opening location of my film so it had better set up, and got to the action quicker. This was what I based the first two minuets of my film on as it was the most effective part.
I played with the dialouge and character roles to give a more realistic reaction and interaction based on some of the screenplays i had read.
This version filled in a few more clues about characters.

However it had majour structural issues as the new scene didnt fit with the rest of the script so required dramatic re writing. It also didn't action all the changes.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B861OVEHxQzgLWZNMTdWbWdiWE0/view?usp=sharing

This was my next draft of my script. 
This featured dramatic re writing. 
In this version I played with the characterisation and staging more to try and create a role reversal.
This had more gritty dialouge and included a big twist with more "moments" which was a big thing I wanted to action from my first draft.
This script included more locations and characters so that there was a better structure and overall story/message, rather than it being mostly set up.
More clues and back story were included, and i followed the golden rules of screenwriting more closley e.g. show dont tell.
The structural issues were all fixed and the screenplay flowed nicely and read like a decent plot.

However after getting feedback from this, my veiwers noticed a few small errors and had suggestions on cutting back dialouge in places.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B861OVEHxQzgclZCWFZUQ0dvV1E/view?usp=sharing

In this final draft of my screenplay I made the final minor changes to the dialouge and structure.
It now reads a little better and although it is a dialouge heavy screenplay, some was cut back on following advice given, and a few minor errors were corrected.

I am currently awaiting feedback for this version.