Story Telling Project: 25 Word Pitch

Below is the initial pitch idea that I have come up with for this story telling projet, based around the theme of "The Meeting" it features a very breif plot sumemry and details about the primary caharcters and settings.

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Sibling rivalry takes new form in this gripping drama, two brothers meet to find old memories cause a feud that threatens to sever the family.

Genere: Drama 

 

Characters

 

Jason: A well manoured 26 year old guy. He is a very grounded person and despite having a misguided youth, turned his life around and now focuses on his wife and home life more than anything as he plans a future for the two of them. Through the help of old friends he landed a high paying job that attracts unwanted atention from

                      people he'd rather forget.

 

Liam: The younger wilder 21 year old brotehr of Jason.Unlike his brother, Liam never lost a taste for trouble. While his brother found it easy to setlle down, Liam is always thrill seeking and finds it hard to stay in one place. Sooner or later he inevitably ends up in some form of scrape, only this time he disapeared and hasn't been heard from in months. He is very arogant and has persuasive tendancies that he tries to exploit on his brother since he seems to have ended up over his head in some kind of trouble, appearing unemployed and overly on edge.

 

Setting

 

Initial setting is a typical high street, this allows for effective establishing shots and a relatable introduction to the characters. It aslo allows for easy transition in to the primary location.

 

 

 

 

Primary setting is a high street cafe. The location provides a relatable and iconic way for the charactesr to isolate themselves and allow the audience to focus on the stagong and dialouge between them. It also allows for the introduction of other minor characters should they be needed.For example otehr customers or staff could over hear or interveen just as may occur in a real life situation, however being a drama it can be exagerated for entertainment purposes. Th elocation also features effective mise en scene allowing for quuick cuts and closre ups in decent lighting conditions. 

 

Feedback: Ireceived the following feedback from my peer group and advisors \/ \/ \/

1. There is no need for the word "gripping" in the pitch as this should be obvious. 

2. Keep the script/scene on the move, if it is stuck in one location it can cause loss f interest, action and plot.

3. Atempt to use clothing to demonstrate the diference between characters and their situations.

4. Think about what would happen in a real life situation.

5. Consider addding aditional characters for more development in the action.

Following this feedback i actioned a few changes. I removed the coffee shop to keep the scene on the move, and added in the aditional locations of a house and a graveyard.

I also re wrote the reactions my characters initially have towards each other to make it more realistic.

I wrote in some aditional characters to help create more depth in the story.