Major Project: Script Feedback
As part of my role as producer on this project, I felt it important to keep giving Alex feedback on his script as it develops. To esnure he got a non biassed outsider opinion, that will help it develop more effectively as a piece. Below you can read my feedback on the newest draft of Alex's script.
Looking at the narrative as a whole, I think we need to explore the past more, maybe have a dedicated segment for this.
There are still some aspects of this journey that need clarifying and have more explanation. Such as the race day, obtaining the racing licence, why you need to rais so much money etc.
You mention your family (specifically your dad) frequently, so it feels like they should be in It in some capacity, since we keep mentioning them but not seeing them.
Consider including old footage/photos both from your childhood that relates to your talking points and highlights your history with motorsport.
In general you could go in to more detail about growing up with a passion for motorsport—especially your dream of being a race driver and what lost you confidence in following that dream at an earlier stage.
Make it clear what you have to lose? —(Your lifelong dream, this is an all or nothing moment)
I think that some of the interviews need a bit more structure so we know exactly what we want to get out of each contributor.
Sam could do with a little more set up, so we understand how big of a role he plays in the story.
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